Someone I have known for a while called and asked me to pray with her. She admitted that she struggles with unbelief. She said she just doesn’t trust God to move on her behalf no matter how much time she invests in the relationship, how much she prays, or how much she reads the Bible. She said, “It is just a disconnect. I just feel distant from God.”
In the moment, I thought it was an absurd statement because I know God to be faithful to His word, but then God revealed this to me.
It was difficult for me to process it and understand her level of unbelief because sometimes, we often view God as we view our earthly fathers. (Not that we are supposed to, but it happens.)
God reminded me of the characteristics of my father and how my father has always done exactly what he has promised. It has never been a time I needed him and he was unavailable and before I could even ask my dad for anything, I had it. In my younger years, I was a problem child. In spite of, my dad never demeaned me or treated me differently because of my actions. He loved me through them. He saw me for who I would become rather than the things that I was struggling in and with at the moment. I trust God easily because I trust my own father. God revealed that it’s a direct correlation. However, for this person who called me and asked me to pray because she was struggling in her faith, that was and is not the case.
I called her and told her what God had revealed to me- that she was struggling with unbelief because she trusted God to be to her what her earthly father had been to her. I knew her father was absent, but I did not know the extent of his absence. Immediately, she started crying and admitted that she has never had a real relationship with her father who has always lived in the same town as she does. Everything she remembers about her father is associated with pain, hurt, disappointment, and lies. She also admitted that, that’s why she struggles with trusting men because her father was the first man she ever loved and he rejected and abandoned her.
We cried, prayed, cried some more, and we agreed that she needed to forgive her father and heal from the hurt he has caused so that she can build a better relationship with God and change her perspective of all men. I encouraged her to pray about starting therapy and how it has been and continues to be one of the best decisions I have ever made.
So many of us are hurting because of unresolved pain and childhood trauma, and while we are not always responsible for the hurt that was inflicted upon us, we are responsible for our own healing. If we desire to be the best version of ourselves, we have to deal with all those things that we “claim” do not bother us, things we have swept under the rug, and things we have pushed to the back of our minds. Until we do and stop running from it, we will always run around the same mountains.
And a harsh truth is…we won’t always get the apology we want or the closure we desire (some people will never admit to their wrong;they will take it to their graves), but we still have to forgive and heal because it is our own freedom that is being withheld. And we deserve to be free.
Healing hurts, but it’s NECESSARY for our growth. Jesus won’t be offended if you seek therapy. It is His desire that we are healed, whole, and free.
I talk to Jesus…but I talk to my therapist too. ❤️